Why?
by Kokoai
Summary: Roxas regrets his decision to leave Axel a year afterwards. His disstress causes problems between him and Riku and a deadly issue between him and Sora. Light AkuRoku. Story is crap but still appreciate if u read it.


My first AkuRoku fic suprisingly. I honestly can't belive I didn't write one of these sooner. There's not much AkuRoku in this, but oh well.

Very light AkuRou no likey turn away now or I'll sick my moongose on you.

Underlined= Flashback

_Itallics_= Roxas's thought words

**Bold**= Sora's thought words

Disclaimer: If I did own Kingdom Hearts Axel and Roxas would have had hot, steamy sex. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't belive that happened.

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"Why should we bother with this…?" I asked cryptically, gaze stuck towards the black, raining sky. He was as stunned as he could be by my question, I didn't need to see his face to know that. "With what?" Axel asked, stunned as I knew he was. He knew what I meant, he just hoped, well not really, but he wanted to be wrong. "Don't play dumb. I'm talking about us, Axel, our relationship. We both know these feelings are not real. That's why I'm ending it." I reply sadly, but bitter. Opening a dark portal, I dare a glance over my shoulder at him. While my words sink in I take the chance to go through the portal. Just as the portal closes his voice shouting my name penetrates my eardrums. 

That was a year ago and only now do I realize how much of an idiot I was. Even though the emotions were fake at least they felt real. I would run back to him apologize and pray he took me back, if I wasn't stuck inside my other half's body.

I haven't seen him since the day he faded and I had to watch through Sora's eyes.

Seeing Axel on the ground, slowly fading brought tears to my eyes. "I wanted to see Roxas." Axel replied rather calmly for his state. "He was the only one I liked; he made me feel like I had a heart." He continued still calmly, but this time he seemed almost to be talking to me. The look in his eyes made me believe he knew I was there beyond Sora. "Axel…" I said sadly, somehow speaking through Sora. As all of Axel faded a tear fell from my eye. 

'**Roxas, I'm sorry about that.**' Sora spoke, apologetically. Ever since merging with Sora, we've been able to communicate in kind of a telepathic way; we're able to hear each other's thoughts. _'It wasn't your fault._' I reply with a sigh.

'**It was! I should have been able to defeat those Dusks!**'

'_You know they wouldn't have stopped coming. Axel merely bought you time._' I do want to blame Sora, but I know it's not his fault.

'**Blame me if it makes you feel better!**' Sora always tries to comfort me, but unfortunately it does little.

'**Then tell me what will help!**' Sora cries. This always aggravates me; he never knows when to stop.

'_BRING AXEL BACK!!_' I shout unthinkingly. A gasp flies past my lips once I realize what I said. Gasping like a fish out of water I struggle to find an apology.

"Sora?" Riku, who I had forgotten Sora was with, questions. "It's nothing." Sora responds, attempting a humorous tone and failing. "Doesn't seem like nothing." Riku states as he wipes tears from Sora's eyes. "It's Roxas." Riku says knowingly. Sora only nods in response. "He needs to move on already." Riku states calmly with an underlining tone of bitterness. It's obvious that's aimed towards me and that he only cares for Sora.

Lose of control over my temper causes me to shout extremely angrily, "Fuck off! What would you know?" at him and somehow shouting it through Sora. (A/N: incase anyone is confused about this, from Riku's pov, Sora shouted this at him.) '**I think you need some alone time.**' And with that comes the mental block. Think of it as a firewall and me a virus; I can't communicate with Sora until he takes it down.

Curling into a ball I allow the tears to flow. I lost control back there, but it only happens when Riku is around. I get so annoyed by him because he only cares for Sora. I'm glad he treats Sora well; I just wish he would give a bit more care towards others. Maybe I deserve it though… I am nothing after all, I shouldn't even exist. Axel understood that, I guess that's why I became so close to him. The rest of the Organization didn't spare a word of comfort towards me, but Axel tried to make me forget that all my feelings were fake, that I didn't exist and it worked. But that very reason, the fact that we couldn't feel and didn't exist is why I couldn't stay with him.

I hate when they do this, Riku kissed Sora. Unfortunately, I can tell when this happens and it always depresses me. I'm always reminded of the night I left him…

"You can't turn on them! They'll destroy you!" Axel exclaimed. This will be the last time I speak to him, better make it count. "No one would miss me." I reply coldly. Be hurt Axel, don't chase me. "That's not true… I would." Axel finishes lowly. I shouldn't have, but I felt I had to. Walking up to him I grab his coat and bringing him down to my level I smash our lips together. Axel begs for entrance, but I pull away. Time to end this…

I was such an idiot. Why did I do that? I can still taste his cinnamon lips and smell his fiery scent. I miss all of him so much. Maybe these emotions are fake, but they feel real and somewhere in my non-existent heart is true feeling for Axel.

The ocean? When did Sora get here and when did Riku leave? '**That's not important.**' Sora's tone was calm. '_I'm sorry for earlier._' I felt compelled to apologize. '**It's ok. I tried to explain to him how you are, but he wouldn't listen.**' '_He only cares for you._' I figure I'd point this out just incase he's unaware. '**I know, and I wish it wasn't only me. I want you to be happy Roxas; I just don't know how to help.**' I haven't been close to happy in a long time, not since Axel was around. Axel coming back is probably the only thing that would make me happy, but Sora and I both know that's not possible.

'**Roxas.**' Sora's warning tone catches my attention. Suddenly I feel it, the darkness slowly approaching. '_Two-hundred?_' '**Feels about that… maybe two-thirty.**' Regardless of the number this is going to be a tough battle. As the Heartless grow closer I feel the sensation of being pulled out of Sora.* Sora summons Kingdom Key as I summon Oathkeeper and Oblivion. As the first group of Heartless lunge towards us we both simultaneously begin swinging our blades. "Sora!" I shout, as he is struck behind the knee by a Shadow's claws. This causes him to collapse to the ground. Slashing through Heartless I struggle to reach him and just for a second as I reach him I see a flash of red, but only Shadows surround us. Turning to basically animal instinct I started slashing at the remaining Heartless. A good one-fifty I took down in less then three minutes.

Sora got cut up badly, not to mention the large amount of blood from behind his knee. The Shadow got about an inch in. Ripping a strip of my shirt I proceed to bandage his knee. Casting Curaga I wait for him to gain consciousness.

"Sora!" An all too familiar voice shouts. I turn towards the rushing silverette. "Roxas?" Riku question as he notices me. I proceed to explain the fight to him. "Why weren't you watching his back?" Riku asks angry. "I wasn't aware I had to keep an eye on the Keyblade Master!" I shout back. "This isn't about him being the Keyblade Master! He's your Somebody and you're his Nobody you two are supposed to protect each other!" Riku shouts slightly louder. "It's not like I choose to be his Nobody!" I reply, tears welling. I hate dealing with his bullshit and now is not the time, but I won't lose to him. He's blaming this on me though when it's not my fault. Maybe a little is since I should have at least made sure he was holding up ok, but he's fought a thousand Heartless at once and handled that fine.

Summoning Oblivion I quickly block Riku's oncoming attack. Pushing him back I summon Oathkeeper and quickly strike towards him. He side-steps at the last second and swings at my back, but I manage to twist around enough to block with Oblivion. I swing Oathkeeper towards his legs, he attempts to dodge, but isn't quick enough and I slice down the top half of either leg. My next strike hits his shoulder, but he cuts my side during the time. "All you care for is Sora!" I shout angrily as I lunge toward him. "You only care for Axel!" Riku retorts, parrying my strike. "Maybe that was true, but after merging with Sora I did start caring for him!" I respond, landing a gut blow with Oathkeeper's handle. Recovering quickly from my last hit he moves behind me and as I dodge his obvious attack he moves unexpectedly to slice my unharmed side. Wincing only slightly I back flip over him to avoid his strike and swing at his feet. He jumps to avoid this, but I take that time to strike upwards creating a diagonal line from his stomach to the top of his chest. Unfortunately, I don't move quick enough to elude him cutting down my back. Swing around I block his blade before he hits me again. We stand at a face-off, pushing our blade towards each other. Hatred for me burns in his eyes. Riku pulls back and attempts a behind strike. I spin around to dodge it, but am unprepared for his next move. He swipes a foot towards mine, knocking me off balance. I land on my back, Keyblades dropped and the tip of Riku's at my throat. "Riku!" Sora shouts, capturing both our attentions. Glancing out of the corner of my eye I see that he looks pale and weak. Riku removes his Keyblade from my throat and rushes over to Sora.

Merging with Sora, I hid in the back of his mind, setting up my own mental block against him. Again, I lost my temper around Riku. I think it happens because Riku in a way reminds me of Axel. Sora and Riku being together reminds me of when Axel and I were together. Riku is to Sora what Axel was to me. '**Roxas…**' Damn, drop my guard for a second. '_It's no big deal._' I reply reassuringly. '**I'm not as stupid as you think.**' I hate my existence. '**That's not true! I can tell you're not happy with it, but think of how Axel would react if he knew you were like this.**' '_If Axel were here I'd be happy!_' Sora flinches at my words. That may have been too harsh; he is only trying to help. I've tried, so hard so many times to forget Axel, but I can't, not just because Sora constantly brings him up. Axel, even after fading just won't leave me alone. Why hadn't I realized how much I loved him before I left him? Maybe things would be different now if I had. Dropping my head I realize some odd things;

1) I'm out of Sora's body

2) Sora is unconscious

3) I was able to fight Riku with out enough darkness around to keep me out.

"You've become too disconnected from him." Riku states as if reading my mind. "What do you mean?" I ask confused, looking towards him, then down to Sora. He sighs as he tucks some of Sora's hair behind his ear. "You've unknowingly been pulling farther from him, his heart can't take it." Riku replies sadly. He's saying it's my fault this happened to Sora? I think he may be right. I have felt the bond between Sora and I weakening. I thought we were just naturally drifting though. "Roxas, we-you have to act fast. Who knows how long he'll last." Riku says sadly, but with a hint of urgency in his tone. My head snaps up as realization hits, Sora's heart is weak; the Keyblade Master's heart is up for grabs. "What can we do?" I ask slightly panicky. "_You_ have to repair the broken bond. I'll find a safe place for him, just be fast." Riku replies as he picks up Sora. I nod and quickly merge with Sora.

Looking around all I see is darkness, which is a first for his mind. Walking blindly I notice a faint, almost non-existent glow. In the midst of running towards it I summon Oathkeeper to fend of the darkness that's already seeping into his heart. As I approach the light I see Sora inside a glass egg like machine. Standing beside it is… "Namine?" The blonde turns at the sound of her name. "Roxas." She says gladly. "Why… how are you here?" I ask stunned. "I'm not. I'm a figment created from Sora's memories." She replied softly. "As for why I'm here it's to help you fix the bond." Her voice grew a little more serious. Looking towards Sora he seemed in pain. I hope nothing is happening outside. "Roxas, the bond can only be fixed in death." Namine sobbed, tears falling. My eyes widened as I stared at her. She looked away as more tears fell. "The heart you two share is torn, broken. Only death can bring the halves together again. In other words, you and Sora have to die, but you have to die together." Namine cried. My vision became blurry. I've wanted to die for a long while, but not like this. "There's no other way?" I choked out, tears beginning to stream. Namine shook her head. Sora looked in worse pain then before. "He feels all your pain. Tell Riku fast and be back before he dies." Namine sobbed, slowly fading.

Reluctantly I pulled out of Sora's mind. Sora lay in a grass field, Riku beside him clutching his hand. "Riku." I called gently. His head snapped up and his puffy, red eyes met mine. "What's wrong?" he asked, voice shaking with concern. I almost couldn't tell him, but I had to. "Sora… has to die for the bond to be fixed." I informed him sadly. I could practically see the held back tears. "Is that the only way?" Riku asked between sobs. I nodded slowly. 'It's the only way he'll have a chance at a next life.' I would have said if I didn't think it'd make things worse. Sora's breath hitched catching both our attentions. "There isn't much time; I have to merge with him before he dies." I state lowly. Riku's eyes met mine for a final fairwell.

Merging with Sora I feel just how close to death he is. "Let's meet again… in the next life." Axel, I hope you're waiting. Slowing my breathing I use what little power I have left to stop Sora's heart. Riku's sobbing. Despite our hatred for each other, I hope he find happiness some where in the worlds. And if Sora is his only happiness then I hope they meet in the next life, whenever Riku gets there. A year after losing Axel and I'm still not happy, but hopfully I'll find him in the next life.

I feel myself fading, no fake emotions this time. Axel… please be waiting for me. 'Roxas_.'_ 'Axel_…'_

~Riku pov~

"There isn't much time; I have to merge with him before he dies." Roxas states lowly. I gaze at him, knowing this would be the last time we see each other. I watch as he slowly merges with Sora. I can't believe I'm losing him like this. Roxas, despite the hatred I had for you, I hope you find Axel in the next life.

Placing a hand against Sora's cheek I take in these last images of him, the icy feel of his skin. I watch as his breathing slows to a stop. Sora… I'm sorry.

Summoning Way to the Dawn I mutter my final words, "Sora, I love you and I'm sorry for this…" I turn my blade against me and thrust it into my chest, my heart. My eyes slide shut as my Keyblade disperses into darkness.

*I imagine this as when a significant amount of darkness is around it reacts with Roxas's darkness to give him basically a physical body.

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I almost didn't post this cuz I thought it was crap, but I'll let u readers decide that. That does not give u permission to flame me, flames will still hurt Bambi! Check my profile if u don't understand that. Nice reviews please? Possible three-shot sequel to this if anyone wants it. The more ppl that want it the more motivated I'll be to write it.


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